I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
