2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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