I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
