Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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