shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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