sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
