Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
