Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
