Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
