After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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