i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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