what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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