Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
