I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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