member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
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