matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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