no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
