i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
