to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
