I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
