Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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