I have demons in me.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
