Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
50% drunk capacity currently
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
