No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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