You made me cry and you don't even care
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
