Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
