I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
