mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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