:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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