I'm jealous of your bromance
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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