LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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