he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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