This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Rumble strips road head = magical
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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