broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
