can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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