How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
