I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
