i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
