if you like me you must not know who I am
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
