didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Randomize
