You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
