someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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