She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
