I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
