Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I wear drunk well.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
