Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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