She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Randomize
