Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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