I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I have fence marks all over my body
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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