I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
