We're like a lot better than the average bears
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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